Single Parenting Series: Holidays
I’ve been a single parent since my gals were 5 1/2 years and 6 weeks old. Yes, you read those ages right. My body hadn’t physically healed from delivering my youngest, when I was thrown into single parenthood.
I often get questions about how I have handled things as a single mom. I reached out to my Instagram followers, asking for anonymous volunteers to discuss their experiences with me. I’m compiling their thoughts and mine into blog posts in the upcoming weeks. We will begin with holidays.
Holidays have never been an issue for my ex-husband and I. Mother’s Day was always with me. Father’s Day was spent with him. We have joined together for the girls’ birthday parties, annually. My gals would always wake up on Easter morning, to find their baskets at my house, and visit with their dad, later in the day. Santa always came to my house. ALWAYS. You know my love of Christmas. This is something I probably would not have budged on, but lucky for me, their dad was very understanding of this. For several years, he actually came over on Christmas morning to watch them open their gifts. As you can see, I have been very blessed in this regard. Who the girls would be with for holidays, was never an issue with us.
As far as gifts for the other parent, while the kids were younger, we bought them for each other (from the girls). Sometimes grandparents will jump in and do this. Children want to be able to give their parents gifts.
The general consensus, among those that I interviewed, was that it’s important for children to spend time with both parents, on the holidays. Maybe, one parent get Christmas Eve and the other get Christmas Day. Mom could get Thanksgiving lunch and Dad could get Thanksgiving dinner. I do realize things aren’t always so simple. Perhaps, parents don’t live close enough to each other, for this sort of arrangement to be feasible. One mom told me that her daughter must fly, to spend every other Christmas, with her dad. I remember how hard that first Christmas Eve was when my girls left to visit their dad’s family. They were only going to be gone a few short hours, but as soon as I shut the door, I fell to the floor crying. I just didn’t think that I should be missing a single minute of their Christmas. I can’t imagine the pain and loneliness of these parents who must actually spend the holiday without their children. If you’re that parent, know that I say a prayer for you every Christmas Eve.
Not all single parents must share holidays with someone else. Some single parents are the ONLY parent. Father’s Day, without a dad and Mother’s Day, without a mom can be difficult for any age, but especially those younger years. I encourage you to still make it a special day. If you are a widow, perhaps, watch old home movies, share memories of the loved one, or plant something in their memory. For families who don’t have another parent to celebrate, maybe do something special with a parental figure of that gender…a grandpa, an aunt, a godparent.
Another thing that I’ve written about before, but want to mention again, help the single parents out at holidays. Offer to pick up the birthday cake. Let Santa hide toys at your house until Christmas. Drop off a special meal to a parent who will be alone. The prayers, the praise, the admiration that you give us…it’s all great. Sometimes, however, we, single parents just need a little help. More often, than not, we don’t like to ask for it. Be alert to how you can be that help to someone.
I hope this has given you a little insight to holidays as a single parent. I ask that you share this blog with family and friends. Please feel free to comment below or email me, privately, any questions at maradachaffins@gmail.com. Be watching for the next installment of this single parenting series.
Marada
Photo by Suzanne Deaton
Christmas 2007
Photo by Suzanne Deaton
Christmas 2008
Christmas 2009